Dad

Dad, is the biological father of Luchois_Krustalingus, a Ukrainian street urchin and panhandler. On the day of Luchois' 4th birthday, Dad left the house. He claimed that he was taking a trip to acquire 700 Ecuadorian cigars, and the legendary 500% Milk Carton. Dad said that soon he would be home, but 13 years later Luchois is still alone.

Biography
While Dad's precise date of birth is unknown, the first documented sighting of him was 3 days after the Chernobyl Incident in 1986. Local farmers reported their livestock to be gored and mauled during the night. The farmers claimed that they had seen a naked hunchbacked Slavic male, much larger than an average man. Once spotted, the Slav bared it's jagged teeth and hissed Russian obscenities at the farmers, before scampering off into the night. This creature then came to be known as "сеча педик," or "The Mutant Gopnik of Kricova."

Behind the scenes
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